Jokes 468

Photo Finish!

An Army Officer was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she wants to break up as she is in love with someone else and wanted nothing further to do with him. To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted pictures…

Jun 06,2013
Views: 227
Comments: 0

Stop watching porn...

Wife: (shouting) Stop watching porn, I can hear it in the kitchen . . . . . Husband: . . . . I'm not, it's Sharapova vs Serena... I'm watching tennis....

Jun 03,2013
Views: 876
Comments: 0

Report Card

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good... mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I…

Apr 20,2013
Views: 380
Comments: 0

Hungry Snake!

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch,…

Apr 16,2013
Views: 272
Comments: 0

Husband wife watching an IPL match together

Husband wife watching an IPL match together After 5 minutes: Wife: Is this Bret Lee? Husband: No, this is Chris Gayle, Bret Lee is a bowler. Wife: Okay, oh look, another wicket. Husband: No, this is just a replay of the last one. Wife: Hmm, looks like India is going to win this…

Apr 08,2013
Views: 199
Comments: 0

Passionate Love

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest said, "Confess your sins and be forgiven." The young woman said, "Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven…

Feb 19,2013
Views: 198
Comments: 0

Bigger Chicken

A woman walks into a butcher's shop just before closing time and asks, "Do you have any chicken?" The butcher opens his fridge, takes out his only chicken and puts it on the weighing scales. It weighs 1.5 kg. The woman looks at the chicken and at the scales and asks, "Do you have one that's a…

Feb 13,2013
Views: 185
Comments: 0

Never trust anybody

A burglar decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob." He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms started…

Jan 17,2013
Views: 156
Comments: 0

Wealth, Wisdom or Beauty?

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a…

Jan 17,2013
Views: 233
Comments: 0

Old Goats

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she…

Jan 17,2013
Views: 184
Comments: 0
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